It is His joy that brings me strength!

                                                                     It takes just

 one moment 

   to change everything. One split second of a car driving closer to me than he, or I realized. One hit to the side of my knee, and I am down.

 Everything changes. 

I have replayed my day from start to finish many times. 

On that Sunday, November 24th, 2013, 

everything started out like a normal day. 

I woke up and prayed before I would ride my bike to church, as I usually do on Sundays. That morning though, as I bowed my head to pray a rush of anxiety flowed through me.

 I have so much to do today. I thought.

 I closed my eyes and began praying for the day before quieting my heart before Him. I remember hearing a few words that I will never forget.

 You need to slow down. 

The words were so clear and relevant to my life. 

But what was I to do? I already had many commitments to attend to that day. I responded nonchalantly, "OK. I will slow down tomorrow." I said this as I grabbed my backpack, threw it over my shoulder and locked my door. I didn't want to be late for church. 

I ran down the four flights of stairs to the kitchen. I grabbed some fruit to eat for a lunch. "This will have to due for today. " I said as I examined the two oranges and banana in my hand. "I have too many things to do today… " 

After church, I rode my cycle to the international school that I work at to pick up some things I had left behind accidentally on Friday. 

I sat there for a few minutes to catch my breath. 

I looked at my watch, I only had 30 minutes before I needed to be at the Nepali school that I teach at. I went through my lesson one more time, making sure I was ready to teach my bright and amazing year 7 Nepali students. 

I got on my bike and rode fast as I waved good bye to some friends who were also at the school that day. I was focused on getting to the school, it would be a new route today, yet I was still confident that I would make it there. 

I slowly gravitated to the center of the road, to prepare for a right turn I needed to make. (We ride on the left side of the road in Nepal). 

The traffic was terrible. I watched my turn pass by me. A spark of frustration bubbled inside me. I love those kids, I don't want to be late, I kept thinking. The road wasn't clearing up, I kept cycling farther away from my turn.

Suddenly, I heard the squealing of brakes. I started to turn to look and see what happened, when I felt a jolt on my left knee. My whole body reflexed itself off the bike and jumped forward. I quickly stood up, as I was in the middle of the road. 

Immediately I could feel my knee had been injured. I hobbled back to my bike, picked it up, and looked at the guy who hit me. He looked at me dead in the eye. His hands tightly holding the steering wheel, he looked down, reversed a little and then stopped. It was as if he was considering running me over again, but something stopped him from following through.

I decided it was not safe to stand there, and as soon as I had began making my way off the road, he sped off just as fast as he hit me. 

Now, that is the moment. The moment that changed everything. 

Most importantly, it humbled me. God provided me everything for me, and it was so clear and evident. Even as I hobbled off the road, the Lord provided people I knew to help me to the hospital. Then, I had some great Nepali friends help me in the hospital. 

Later, I spent some time with a family until they could admit me to the hospital and perform the surgery. 

I had the surgery where they implanted metal plates and screws. It was painful, but Gods hand was definitely with the surgeons during that time.

Now, I am getting better and as soon as possible I will go back to teaching. Once my doctor gives me the "OK" I will be back in business, crutches, and all. 

Yesterday morning, I began reflecting on this whole process. From that initial moment to now, as I am dependent on God, others, and of course my crutches. 

I realized something. I am pressed but not crushed. I might feel a little persecuted, but I am not abandoned. I feel a bit struck down, but I am not destroyed. His joy will always be my strength!

 As I say always, it is such a beautiful thing to trust in Jesus. Because of Him, I have peace instead of anguish and joy instead of mourning.

 Praise God for His perfect goodness! 

Thank you so much for your prayers. From that initial moment on, God has not left my side. I am full of joy right now knowing that people have prayed for me and loved me during this time. Thank you brothers and sisters. I am also praising God for some opportunities that have come up for this season of rest. I will be tutoring one girl in English, her mom will take her to me. As well as spending more time learning Nepali. I am still praying for a Nepali tutor who will be able to come to me during this season. Please keep this in your prayers as well.

 Thank you so much!

He died, so we can live

I have to be honest with you. 

I am Eve. 

A human who fell into deception. You see, the devils schemes are never clever. Yet, I did not see them coming. Not this time anyway. He told me lies about how God wanted me to have something. Why wouldn't God want me to have something? At first, friends, it didnt work. I rebuked the serpent and told him, "No, you see, Gods word says to not covet. It says to lean not on our own understanding and in ALL our ways, trust Him." But the deceiver never gave up. Alas, I took a bite of the fruit. Now, the fruit I took a bite of what coveting. Even when I tasted its sourness, there was nothing I could do because I had already eaten it. Thus, I felt cast out. Away from the garden and away from the presence of God. I began to feel like an onlooker when I saw people praising God within the garden of Gods perfect presence. 

The beautiful thing is, that right now I am writing from within the garden. As most of you know the beautiful story of Jesus, because of His perfect sacrifice on the cross my sins have been forgiven and I am now welcome back into His beautiful presence.

But it is important to not forget the important lesson learned here. The devil taunted me with a fruit that could have been easily matched up with scripture, but it was the way he lied about me deserving this certain thing. It is so similar to the way he tempted Jesus in the Bible, even using scripture. 

Ah, I am so full of joy that his evil schemes have been revealed, and I am now back in the presence of God!

I must admit, it has sure been awhile since I have written a blog. I actually have written quite a bit since my last blog; however, with internal conflicts I kept deciding last minute to not post them. I apologize for this, and hope you will find this long over due blog a joy to read.

Moment by moment, the world moves rapidly around me. Sometimes I feel like a push pin, placed on the earth into an intentional location. But that does not mean I automatically know and understand everything about my surroundings. I find every day a learning experience, even though it being 3 months since my arrival now, I still feel I learn something and experience something new every day. Even had to have my first doctor visit this past month, after having a high fever for a few days.

There is no doubt that the season I am currently in right now is a season of work and preparation. I have many opportunities to grow as a teacher and a missionary here in Nepal.

Currently, I teach 5 different classes at two different schools. 

Also, I started working with an organization to pilot a new program that will be designed to work with Nepali students after school hours, to teach them English with intensive instruction. Starting next week, we will begin the pre-assessments, then the hard work of creating lesson plans begins! 

Please pray for this program, as it is a pilot program and so we are completely dependent on God as to what exactly it should look like. 

One of the schools I teach at is an international school, where I am teaching ESL. My students are primarily Nepali and Korean, and they are teaching me as much as I am teaching them, I believe. They are so full of thought and are unbelievably innovative! Their language skills sometimes comes as a deterrent for expression, but they are amazing students that I feel so BLESSED to work with. 

One of my students learning basic CVC words.
He is looking for a letter to complete this word.

The other school I teach at, is the Nepali community school. I am teaching class 7 students and working hard at using their first language as a basis for their English development. The students are progressing, but my prayer is that they keep their motivation. The school they are at ends at class 7, and most of them don't plan on finding another school to go to next year. They plan on getting their first job. Please pray for the Lord to use me as an influence in their lives that they will be motivated to stay in school. 

Recently, I have found myself obsessing over understanding God and His will for our lives. In this longing and desire to understand Him and His will, He has brought me to a humble closure. 

It was something that Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me…” Matthew 16:24

I know the cross that He has chosen me to bear. I know the burden that I have for the marginalized Nepali people. But I found myself asking God how it all makes sense. 

I teach at a Nepali school, but I also teach at an international school where I work with non-marginalized Nepali kids as well as Korean children. How could that be a part of His plan? I found myself asking quite frequently. 

But never did I realize that part of this act of denying myself, is also an act of denying the right to know and understand everything. God knows. He knows my plan. He knows your plan. We should surrender and allow Him to take the lead. He is far more wise than any of us, anyway. 

God is working in me. He is training me and equipping me. I work hard and some days, I come home to find that I must fall down into the presence of God because it is there that I find my rest. 

Friends and family, 

Thank you so much for all your prayer. I believe God has been supplying me all my needs, and I thank you for praying to Him. Thank you for those who have supported this ministry God has me doing, teaching and working towards a bigger vision, financially.

I pray God will bless you for your obedience.

Now, here are some updated prayer requests:

-Please pray for Nepal. There is an election coming up. Please pray for the right person to come into the office. Right now there is a party running who would like to abolish Christianity in Nepal. This election really needs your prayer! The other problem is that many Nepali are afraid to vote because of what the rebels might do to them. Pray for boldness in this country. 

-Please pray for ALL my students. Pray for me as I teach them  and for them to continue to grow. As well as their hearts being open to God.

-Please pray for the EEP pilot program where we will be teaching English after school. Pray for wisdom and guidance for me and my partners.

-Please pray for the international school I am working at. They are accredited and there is an inspection coming up. Pray for no stress and peace for that. 

-Please pray for my Nepali family- extended and immediate. They have been such a blessing to me. I don't think words could ever describe it. I pray that God will show His favor to them always. 

-Lastly, please continue to pray for my Nepali language development. Pray for confidence. I am getting closer to being able to share the gospel in Nepali! But I need prayer to have that conversation afterward! :)

Please feel free to check out:

http://www.vineyardsa.org/index.html

Vineyard church is my sending mission, and I am honored to be a part of their community. If you live in the San Antonio area and are looking for a church. I strongly recommend this church. They are more than a church, they are a family who believes in every member growing into the person God meant them to be.

Also,
http://www.treeoflifechurch.org/main/ 

Tree of life has been 100% Supportive over the work God is doing.

If you ever feel led to donate please go to: 

www.gofundme.com/nepal 

OR for a tax free donation 

http://www.vineyardsa.org/Online-Giving.html

Trip to Remote Far West Nepal: Humla

It is that moment.

That one moment that you realize you gave up everything to follow Jesus.

The moment when you close your eyes and dirty faces with dark eyes stare back at you, in my sleep, in my heart, I want to help. 

I am haunted by what I have seen. I am tormented by the thoughts of the broken hearted. I am burdened by the reality of the marginalized unreached people. 

Happiness no longer exists within me. No. I can't fathom happiness anymore. I know a joy. I know I can receive this joy through the richness of encountering His presence. I know that. But the dying. The dead. The dirty hands cleaning my cup. The tangled hair squeezed between my fingers. It brings a burden on me. A burden I can not bear.

It brings me to a place of surrender. 

To know Him, to be with Him, to Love Him, to need Him. 

This is the cross He has given me to bear. Although the weight is heavy and burdensome it is the knowledge that He knows me better than I know myself. The reality of His sovereignty and divine nature that I pick up my cross daily to follow Him. 

It is a belief, it is faith that He in fact knows I can carry this cross. 

I do stumble often. 

Then, I cry out to Him, "Lord, it is too heavy for me." At that moment, with His unending mercy He offers assistance.

 I hear Him saying, 

"Don't give up, Karina. I have a plan for you. I have not left you, and I will never leave your side." 

Thus, with tears on my cheeks- pride and fear falling to the ground, I continue. I continue forward with faith, faith that He will bring everything together for me one day. 

The suffering, the hardships, the patronizing. All of it will one day be clear.

Please know I am not writing this blog for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am not the one who needs the help. I have Jesus. I am saved. It is not me that I weep for, it is them. 

It is the family I met in the village of Korchabang who can only see their father once a year because he has to work in Kathmandu and the only way to get to their village is drive on a dirt road for 12 hours from the next city.

It is the approximately 20 Christians in the entire Humla region. 

It is the man who is the only Christian in his entire village. 

It is the family who has to trek days across mountains to receive medical care if they have a problem. 

It is the young girls who received Christ to be their Lord and Savior and are now the only Christians in their village. If they want to go to church, there is a 3-4 hour trek they must be prepared for.

It is the children and families who are poor and are marginalized only because they were born into the "wrong" caste. 

So, please know my burden isn't heavy because of anything I personally have to deal with. I am burdened because of them.

Because He has sweetly and perfectly broke my heart for the people of Nepal- specifically the marginalized here and even more specifically the marginalized in remote Humla. 

Please be praying for the people I mentioned above. I will be too, and when I go back I will post updates on thier lives for you. 

Before we went to Humla, we visited Korchabang. A small village filled with Christians. Their walks with God inspired me. They were passionate. Their small church made from mud, was the biggest blessing the village had ever received. They were so excited about our arrival that days before we came, they made red, white, and blue flags to decorate the church. 

I was so blessed to be able to pray for some of the women in the church while we were there. It was also a joy to be able to speak with them a little in Nepali. We would stumble our way through conversation. Ultimately  leading to them laughing at me but grateful that I was trying. 

We visited one more village near Korchabang, prayed and encouraged the church there then we were on our way to Humla. Humla was mind blowing  From the moment we arrived until the moment we left I was under constant spiritual attack and was carrying a heavy burden for the people we met. The first village we visited was a lot of fun. I was able to share the gospel and pray with the young girls the morning that we left; but this was after 6 HOURS of dancing the night before! These Nepali girls are so much fun! I also met a woman who was convinced I was her American daughter and really wanted me to marry a man from her village. I was honored that she took to me so quickly, but kindly refused the offer for an arranged marriage by my "Nepali Amma." :)

 The next village I was so blessed to visit was Torpa. Torpa was where I met Choringin and Konjak- the two girls who would later accept Christ. It was also where I met these children.

 I noticed they were dirtier than the other children and that they were being shooed off a lot, so, in sheer curiosity I asked what the deal was. I was taken back by the response. "They are untouchables and..." I didn't let them finish. I was already holding one little boy in my arms. I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't hear someone say that about a child and not react. I held him then played with them and taught them some songs. It was burdensome for me to leave Torpa. 

The next village we went to was the village of Krisma. A young girl who was the only Christian in her village. She was having heart problems and so we met her in Simikot where she came for prayer and medical attention. We then trekked for around 8 hours to get to her village. We arrived in a place that I have to say, reminded me of the Shire from the Lord of the Rings. This villages lay on the side of a mountain. It was gorgeous. 

It was dirty, with human feces everywhere and sick people. But it was no matter. We werent there for anything other than the people and it was a joy to meet them. Even after my plate was "cleaned" in cow manure, I found myself laughing as I prayed fervently to not get sick. CLUMP. A pile of rice arrived on the plate that had just been wiped dry from cow manure. A small woman hands me the plate with a smile. I took it joyfully knowing she was honored to serve me on one of the few plates she owned. 

Before leaving, me and the other women on our team prayed for Krishma. She was such a beauty-inside and out. I prayed for her and found myself taken back by the presence of God that radiated from her as I did so. 

Alas, it was our last night in the mountains. My team all could agree on one thing, we were beat. Not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally too. The mountains take a toll on you, but the villagers take your heart. We arrived at our last village. We showed them a film of Jesus' life and story then we explained to them what they just saw and told them that if they had questions we would be ready to talk/ pray with them. Just as we finished saying these things, a friend came down from the roof where his tent lay. "My stuff is gone. Everything has been stolen. My camera, my money, my Bible, my passport, everything..." A deafening feeling of remorse came over all of us. "But, these villagers... I love them so much..." I went to check my bag. It was all there. Everything. Even the wrapper from a snickers bar I had eaten earlier in the day. I looked over to find three young Nepali girls staring at me in the darkness. All I could see was their illuminated eyes. I told them to come where I was and I sat with them as another teammate came to us. We prayed. My new Nepali friends sat with us as we prayed, that if it be Gods will He will use this as a way to share the gospel with these villagers. 

Hours passed. I taught the girls, who had now gestured for more village girls to come over, some games that do not require English skills. (The challenge of teaching games in a language I am not so good in was surprisingly thrilling and I enjoyed it very much). Finally, after long hours of playing games and praying in between- a team member spotted a light in the distance. The guys went to go investigate. They found a villager trying to convince them to go back and wait until morning to search. "We will keep looking for now, but thank you." They said. A shoe was found! Only one. But it meant they were on the right track. The guys and villagers continued to look, they found a bag of snacks! The hope was back- they searched confidently. Then they found the bags, stuffed in a hole and covered with leaves. BUT EVERYTHING WAS THERE!!!!! NOT ONE THING WAS MISSING! They came back to the village and used this to talk about Gods faithfulness, provision, mercy, and grace!

 GOD IS SO GOOD! 

Although, I have many more stories which I would love to share I will go ahead and stop here. I wanted to share what happened on this trip as it was life changing for me. I am still currently processing everything and what this might mean for my future. 

Please pray for everyone mentioned in this blog as you feel led. Also, please pray for me as God is revealing more and more to me every day.

Thank you! Love you friends and family.

To Everything There is a Season

Abraham, Moses Ruth, Jesus, and many others.
Genesis 12:20, Exodus 18:3, Ruth 2:10, and Mark 6:4

All these people were called to distant lands, possibly beyond their own understanding, God called them to a land other than their "home." 

I write now from a beautiful country, that I believe God intended me to live in way before my body was fully formed in my mothers womb. 

I have met other missionaries here too. They tend to have similar stories to me.

"God called [us] here. [We] don't fully know why. But [we] couldn't say no. Gods call was clear, we needed to come to Nepal. So, [we] packed [our] bags and came to answer Gods call on [our] lives." 

Folks, this can only mean one thing.

 Revival. 

This is a beautiful thing! God is planning something big, here in Nepal and I cannot, describe how honored I am that He has chosen me to be a part of it.

Like a candle shining in a dark place, that is how a revival will begin. God has already done many great things in Kathmandu, I look forward to bringing that light to far west Nepal next week! (See bottom of blog for more details on this trip). 

Currently, I write from a bitter sweet place. 

Today was my last day to serve at one of my favorite places in the world- the slums. 

At the beginning of the week, I saw some of my kids' homes from the slums for the first time. I finished serving the children and one of my older girls who has 5 brothers and sisters, came and held my hand. 

I felt a yank and some fast Nepali jabbering. She was pulling me outside. I asked where where we would go: "My home." I relaxed all my muscles and allowed her to pull me where I needed to, I followed with open, eyes. We walked around a pile of garbage and there was a small pathway to the top of a mound of dirt. We walked up there and there were tarps covering a few things. 

"Mero ghar!" (My home!) She said excitedly. She jabbered some more in, what I now believe to be Hindi, then said something about her mom. I came underneath a tarp and I was encouraged to sit. They brought to me a tiny woman, I could see her bones on her sides and legs. She started speaking to me in Nepali (or possibly Hindi- this would make sense why I understood nothing), then stopped. She asked me (in Nepali) "Can I give you something to eat?" 

My heart sank. 

I looked around, there laid one bag of rice to feed this entire family. I responded in my broken Nepali- Maile Khae: (I already ate.) She smiled at me. Then went outside to wash one of the daughters clothes. The girl had stripped down to a scarf which she had wrapped around her body. 

I sat for a moment with small children tugging on both sides of me. They said something to me in Nepali as I sat there. I didnt fully understand. However, it was something to the effect of taking the smallest girl home with me. 

They asked me if I lived in a home. Then they pointed to the girl and kept saying bring her there. I didnt know how to respond. (My Nepali is not advanced enough to respond, and I was not 100% sure of what they were saying to me). 

So, I did all I know how to do. 

I prayed for the girl. I prayed for the family.

Then hajuraama came (grandma). She pointed at her finger. 

It had white puss coming out of it. It was clearly infected. I asked her if she had been to a doctor and if she had medicine. 

She had some, but nothing I could understand or read. I kept praying for her. I also notified the staff from the kitchen where we feed the kids. They are more equipped than I am and assured me they would make sure she was taken care of.

But it didnt change how frustrated I was that God was having me leave this season of working at the slums, where there is clearly a need. 

I will really miss the children, the other volunteer staff, and the atmosphere. 

God finally gave me some peace. He will take care of them. It is time for me to train and grow as a teacher. I am so sad that I have to stop going to the slums. But, so grateful that I was able to come there for the time being. Also, SO incredibly grateful that the Lord is allowing me to stay in Nepal while I train more. I am young and inexperienced. I need training bad. 

On my last day, I hugged my children goodbye, held my tears back as they each took turns kissing me on the cheeks and wrapping their tiny arms around me. 

I have to stop coming to the slums regularly because of my work at KISC, the international school I am volunteer teaching at.

 The times conflict. I know it is Gods will for me to be at KISC. The school is wonderful and they are 100% supportive of the vision God has placed on my heart to start a school one day in west Nepal. 

KISC being a wonderful, God ordained place, does not make it any less difficult to say goodbye to the people I have spent the last two months with daily. 

I was clear, though, "I am not leaving Nepal. If I have holiday, I will come again." This is true. But they and I both know it will be a long time until I have holiday. 

Each one of the volunteer staff gave me their blessing and thanked me sincerely for all my service. 

I started to leave and as I walked outside,  I saw  Sushmita, one of my girls, handing out popcorn mixed with dirt to all her friends. She saw me, grabbed my hand and opened it, plopped a handful of dirt and brown popcorn into my hand then smiled. My eyes teared. God, I will miss this place so much. I ate the popcorn, feeling the crunch of dirt between my teeth. I laughed. Picked her up, held her in my arms, "Dyanyabad, bhaini!" (Thank you little sister!) 

She giggled and then squirmed out of hands. She was determined to make sure ALL her friends got their fair share of popcorn before she eats any herself. 

I started to walk away. Stopped, took a deep breath and looked around. I looked up to the sky, then back down to my feet. "Thank you, God. Thank you so much for allowing me to serve here." 

I feel so blessed to have been able to know these wonderful people! 

This coming Monday I will go on a short term mission to far west Nepal, to Humla. We are going to bring the good news of our Savior to the people who live in one of the most difficult places to reach in the world. I will be gone until October 2nd.
 Please pray for our team, 
Safety: no sickness, and unity within the team!
 and mostly the people we will be ministering to who are primarily Buddhist. 
Please pray that when we serve the people we will be exemplify Christ's attitude always. 

After I come back, I will begin this new season as an ESL teacher at KISC. I feel so blessed to work with the ESL department. I love it so much! The school is wonderful too, in every class there are children representing cultures from the entire world. From Asia, Europe, Africa, to Australia! It is wonderful to meet and love children from all over the world, as I know Jesus loves them all so much. 
And still living in the place God has called me to: Nepal! 

I will continue learning Nepali in the afternoon with a free tutor supplied by my new job.  Please pray for the new season as a KISC ESL teacher and continue praying for my language development in Nepali.

Perfect Love

I have been struggling recently. 

Not something I love to admit. But, the truth must come to the light. I have been struggling with fear. Fear is the absence of faith. So, I have been struggling with faith.

 Please allow me to explain. 

There are certain things I know. 

I know God is real, His love is real, and the He loves me.

I know I am supposed to be here. I know God called me to this country.

I know God put a vision on my heart to start a school in west Nepal. 

Unfortunately, I also know other things. 

I know that visas in Nepal are hard to receive.

 I know that I am young and inexperienced. 

I know that I don't have an organization in Nepal backing me up. (Although, I do have an amazing church family and others who are backing me up- thank you to all of you!!) 

I know that I have no idea 'how' to start a school, and I know that the vision God placed on my heart sometimes scares me a bit. 

I also, know that my main struggle is that I have focused way too much attention on the facts that have consequently deterred my faith. 

The verse from 1 John 4:18 comes to mind. 

There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear. 

I remember one night, the first night I was brave enough to ride my bicycle on the ring road (the main HIGHLY trafficked road in Kathmandu equivalent to a major highway in the states, although- less rules and way more chaotic). First of all, being out at night is not something I would normally do, but being on a bicycle and heading straight for my home, I dismissed all of my normal precautions and rode away. 

After riding quite some time and not seeing my turn off- I became a bit worried. I called my friend and asked him if he could help me navigate home. After talking a minute or two, he spurted out quickly "Get off the ring road, I come to get you now."

Then he hung up. 

I sat on my bicycle waiting for him to arrive.

Looking around, in the dark streets of Kathmandu, I noticed some people staring at this strange foreigner.

 I felt fear crippling in when a man appeared to be approaching me. I closed my eyes and without hesitation I started saying "perfect love casts out all fear"

 OUT LOUD.

 It was a strange moment for all of us…

 me, the man, and I am sure God got a kick out of it too. :) 

I opened my eyes to find the man making a face at me, then he walked in the other direction. I felt this peace and a smile appeared on my face. I started proclaiming Gods greatness. "God, you are sovereign, God you are holy….etc" 

Through this, well, silly moment, and "be careful" learning opportunity- I also came to this sudden conclusion. 

When we are in the presence of the Father FEAR HAS TO LEAVE!

As of right now, I am admitting to God how dumb I was to not fully trust HIM. 

The more I learn about myself, the more I realize how much I NEED Him. 

When volunteering at the slums, some of the small children cannot carry their own trays to the tables. (We have tried to let them- but when they accidentally touch the hot part they drop it. Or they cannot figure out how to balance it between both hands while walking, and soon they have daal bhat (rice and lentils) all over their clothes and body.)

There is no problem carrying their trays for them. I do it with pleasure! Putting their tray in one hand, and their small hand in my other hand- I guide them to their seat. 

It humors me how stubborn some of the kids are though. They want to be like the big kids- carrying their trays by themselves. 

It suddenly dawned on me today. I am just like those stubborn small children. I need Jesus and others He sends, to carry my load for me sometimes. This is hard for me. I look at other missionaries. I see them having everything together and I want to be independent too. I become frustrated with the "wait" as the Lord is sending someone to "carry my tray." I proceed to grab the tray, burn my fingers then get daal bhat all over me.

I am working hard to declare all dependence on Him DAILY and LET Him carry my tray, because I know that when I do, suddenly all my fears melt away because PERFECT LOVE casts out all fear. 

Last night, during a worship session with my Nepali family, I was blown away from a picture I received from God. In the middle of worship- I asked the Lord "How much do you love me?" But what I really wanted to know was, "Do you see me? Do you notice me?" 

I pictured Jesus with His hand out saying "come." 

He brought me to this place so high that I could see the entire world! I looked at Jesus. He smiled and pointed at the earth and said, "I can see you, look."

There I was. It was like I was the only one He created. I saw me, standing in Nepal. Yes, a tiny human on a very big earth. But I could see me!

Later, my friend told me "God loves EACH of His creation as if they are HIS ONLY creation." 

What a beautiful sight! 

Sometimes when I am writing my lessons, I become weary because it is very difficult to write ESL lesson plans for my 7th graders. (My degree is EC- 6 generalist, therefore, I am working completely out of my credentials). 

But somehow when I arrive at the school, God gives me a whole new lesson and a whole new idea I had not even thought of! The children seem to be learning and loving it. It is amazing that He cares enough about me to help me teach my kids english!

Prayer 

 God, please continue to carry my tray for me. 

Thank you for loving me and caring about me so much! Thank you that there is NO ROOM for fear in the presence of God.

I love you Lord so much!

Thank you for providing everything I need as I need it. Never a moment early or a moment too late!

You truly are a GREAT God!

Friends and family, 

It was a challenge for me to write this. But I want you to know my struggles so you can be clear on how to pray for me. I need your prayer more than you know. Please do not stop praying for Nepal, the vision God put on my heart, and please pray for me.

Specific Needs right now:

I applied at a school that can give me a 2 year visa- please pray that if this is Gods will that this school will hire me.

Also, if I get this job I will not be able to work at the slums any more and I will only be able to teach my 7th graders once a week. To receive a volunteer visa you must work full time (40+ hours) a week. 

Please pray for God to take care of the places I have invested in, pray that He will give me peace that it is His will for me to work at this school full time.

This school also offers Nepali language classes for free and free lunches if I become employed full time.

Thank you for your prayer support and encouragement!

HE provides ALL that we need!

 Psalm 37: 4

Delight yourself in the Lord and He WILL give you the desire of your heart.

Ah, I do not know how to fully express the truth of that Bible verse. Firstly, everyday He gives me pure joy as I am so privileged to embrace some of the most amazing children on the planet. I tickle them sometimes and so they will come close enough to me for a hug, smile, and then wait for me to tickle them. The photo above was after I waited a significant time before I started tickling her tummy. She bursted out into laughter, which in turn made me laugh hysterically with her.

A Secret Desire 

I have been here for almost 3 weeks now, and I find myself deeply desiring a friend. At first, I was almost ashamed to admit this deep desire to have a female bond with someone; however, the desire grew stronger when I had no one to talk with about my hard days, no one to laugh with about my silly moments, and no one to talk deeply about the weights that are on my heart. 

 I didn't care if I had just one friend, a friend is all I desired. 

I prayed and presented this request to God, then continued seeking Him and obeying Him in my life, waiting patiently for His provision. 

Saturday, I met a young lady around my age who is American, 3 years older than me and married to a Nepali guy (newly weds of just 3 months). After spending one evening with the couple, it was clear we were meant to be friends. 

Yesterday I met another friend while I was serving at the slums. She was my age, a  Nepali girl who has a testimony and an undeniable passion to serve the Lord. We made plans to attend a worship service on Saturday afternoon. We connected quickly, and it brought tears to my eyes at HIS perfect provision. I wondered sometimes if it was selfish to desire a friend, but I knew that the Lord gives us ALL we need and so I prayed for His will to be done. He could not have provided better women for my life. They are more than a blessing!

God provides everything! He is so amazing that I sit here in awe sometimes because HE treasures and loves His children so much. He treasures YOU and ME. At times, this is difficult to believe. But I know it is true. I know that He loves us. 

It astounds me how blessed I am to be here. I love this country so much. I know now, that God has a purpose for everyone and when you are working within that purpose there is something beautiful about everyday life. In the above photo, we were attempting to create a flower with our hands. I had rested my hand face up on my "Jholaa" (backpack) and quickly two sets of hands went around mine. One of my boys said, "Flower. Karina miss. We make flower." I said, "Ah, Raamro! (beautiful). Different sizes, different colors. All created by the perfect creator. I love being here so much!

It is funny how He will use us in ways that we do not expect Him to. A girl who was here as a short term missionary from another country was serving with me and will be leaving soon. Today, her and I began talking about God and His will for our lives. I didn't know what to say [I am really not that smart] so I just started telling her the awesome things God has done in my life and why I feel called to Nepal. After the conversation, with teary eyes, she stated that she really needed to hear that and was so blessed by the conversation. I knew it was God because I could feel His presence in the room. She then bought me some great books that she believes will help me on my journey. GOD PROVIDES!

Another great story of Gods provision is about finances. I was sitting with a friend one afternoon discussing the reality of my finances. I had felt led to go on a mission trip to far west Nepal (Humla). But my funds were not there. Everytime I attempted to put the need out there to my friends and family, it wouldnt work. It was so strange. So with no one even knowing that I am in the need of (at the time, I thought $2,000). I had no idea how I would be able to go on this trip that I deeply desired to go on. I finally prayed a prayer with few words, but deep convition. Desiring that His will be done more than anything. Moments later, I received an email that said the words that made me cry. A friend donated $1,610 to my account. A beautiful moment of Gods provision. A few days later I learned that because I am already in Kathmandu it will only cost me $1,500. God didnt want me to put the needs out because now I can boast about Him!! He is so wonderful and HE TRULY PROVIDES!!! 

Every Moment Counts

I am a slow learner. But I am slowly learning that every second and every moment counts. He has directed my steps and is continuing to show me the way. In the meantime, He has provided me with great friendships, amazing children that I am blessed to serve every morning, wonderful students who I am blessed to teach, an amazing Nepali tutor while I wait for admission for a Nepali class, an extraordinarily amazing family to live with, and a wonderful church that I am blessed to serve in the children's ministry. 

Please continue to pray for me as I continue to wait on the Lord, every second and every moment of every day. Please pray for the future ministry that the Lord has for me here in Nepal and for all the steps toward it to be illuminated at His timing and will. 

Please continue praying for my language development and patience with that. 

Please pray for my Auntie of my host family- she has had a terrible cough for a week or so now. 

Please pray for the creative side of my brain to stay turned on as I try to make learning fun for my students. [They are so awesome and patient with me!] 

One of my boys from the slums. He was so proud that he caught those frogs. "Karina-Miss! Must look!"

Thank you, and I pray for you all now as you journey through life. God knows where you are, I pray for peace comfort and discernment right now.