To Everything There is a Season

Abraham, Moses Ruth, Jesus, and many others.
Genesis 12:20, Exodus 18:3, Ruth 2:10, and Mark 6:4

All these people were called to distant lands, possibly beyond their own understanding, God called them to a land other than their "home." 

I write now from a beautiful country, that I believe God intended me to live in way before my body was fully formed in my mothers womb. 

I have met other missionaries here too. They tend to have similar stories to me.

"God called [us] here. [We] don't fully know why. But [we] couldn't say no. Gods call was clear, we needed to come to Nepal. So, [we] packed [our] bags and came to answer Gods call on [our] lives." 

Folks, this can only mean one thing.

 Revival. 

This is a beautiful thing! God is planning something big, here in Nepal and I cannot, describe how honored I am that He has chosen me to be a part of it.

Like a candle shining in a dark place, that is how a revival will begin. God has already done many great things in Kathmandu, I look forward to bringing that light to far west Nepal next week! (See bottom of blog for more details on this trip). 

Currently, I write from a bitter sweet place. 

Today was my last day to serve at one of my favorite places in the world- the slums. 

At the beginning of the week, I saw some of my kids' homes from the slums for the first time. I finished serving the children and one of my older girls who has 5 brothers and sisters, came and held my hand. 

I felt a yank and some fast Nepali jabbering. She was pulling me outside. I asked where where we would go: "My home." I relaxed all my muscles and allowed her to pull me where I needed to, I followed with open, eyes. We walked around a pile of garbage and there was a small pathway to the top of a mound of dirt. We walked up there and there were tarps covering a few things. 

"Mero ghar!" (My home!) She said excitedly. She jabbered some more in, what I now believe to be Hindi, then said something about her mom. I came underneath a tarp and I was encouraged to sit. They brought to me a tiny woman, I could see her bones on her sides and legs. She started speaking to me in Nepali (or possibly Hindi- this would make sense why I understood nothing), then stopped. She asked me (in Nepali) "Can I give you something to eat?" 

My heart sank. 

I looked around, there laid one bag of rice to feed this entire family. I responded in my broken Nepali- Maile Khae: (I already ate.) She smiled at me. Then went outside to wash one of the daughters clothes. The girl had stripped down to a scarf which she had wrapped around her body. 

I sat for a moment with small children tugging on both sides of me. They said something to me in Nepali as I sat there. I didnt fully understand. However, it was something to the effect of taking the smallest girl home with me. 

They asked me if I lived in a home. Then they pointed to the girl and kept saying bring her there. I didnt know how to respond. (My Nepali is not advanced enough to respond, and I was not 100% sure of what they were saying to me). 

So, I did all I know how to do. 

I prayed for the girl. I prayed for the family.

Then hajuraama came (grandma). She pointed at her finger. 

It had white puss coming out of it. It was clearly infected. I asked her if she had been to a doctor and if she had medicine. 

She had some, but nothing I could understand or read. I kept praying for her. I also notified the staff from the kitchen where we feed the kids. They are more equipped than I am and assured me they would make sure she was taken care of.

But it didnt change how frustrated I was that God was having me leave this season of working at the slums, where there is clearly a need. 

I will really miss the children, the other volunteer staff, and the atmosphere. 

God finally gave me some peace. He will take care of them. It is time for me to train and grow as a teacher. I am so sad that I have to stop going to the slums. But, so grateful that I was able to come there for the time being. Also, SO incredibly grateful that the Lord is allowing me to stay in Nepal while I train more. I am young and inexperienced. I need training bad. 

On my last day, I hugged my children goodbye, held my tears back as they each took turns kissing me on the cheeks and wrapping their tiny arms around me. 

I have to stop coming to the slums regularly because of my work at KISC, the international school I am volunteer teaching at.

 The times conflict. I know it is Gods will for me to be at KISC. The school is wonderful and they are 100% supportive of the vision God has placed on my heart to start a school one day in west Nepal. 

KISC being a wonderful, God ordained place, does not make it any less difficult to say goodbye to the people I have spent the last two months with daily. 

I was clear, though, "I am not leaving Nepal. If I have holiday, I will come again." This is true. But they and I both know it will be a long time until I have holiday. 

Each one of the volunteer staff gave me their blessing and thanked me sincerely for all my service. 

I started to leave and as I walked outside,  I saw  Sushmita, one of my girls, handing out popcorn mixed with dirt to all her friends. She saw me, grabbed my hand and opened it, plopped a handful of dirt and brown popcorn into my hand then smiled. My eyes teared. God, I will miss this place so much. I ate the popcorn, feeling the crunch of dirt between my teeth. I laughed. Picked her up, held her in my arms, "Dyanyabad, bhaini!" (Thank you little sister!) 

She giggled and then squirmed out of hands. She was determined to make sure ALL her friends got their fair share of popcorn before she eats any herself. 

I started to walk away. Stopped, took a deep breath and looked around. I looked up to the sky, then back down to my feet. "Thank you, God. Thank you so much for allowing me to serve here." 

I feel so blessed to have been able to know these wonderful people! 

This coming Monday I will go on a short term mission to far west Nepal, to Humla. We are going to bring the good news of our Savior to the people who live in one of the most difficult places to reach in the world. I will be gone until October 2nd.
 Please pray for our team, 
Safety: no sickness, and unity within the team!
 and mostly the people we will be ministering to who are primarily Buddhist. 
Please pray that when we serve the people we will be exemplify Christ's attitude always. 

After I come back, I will begin this new season as an ESL teacher at KISC. I feel so blessed to work with the ESL department. I love it so much! The school is wonderful too, in every class there are children representing cultures from the entire world. From Asia, Europe, Africa, to Australia! It is wonderful to meet and love children from all over the world, as I know Jesus loves them all so much. 
And still living in the place God has called me to: Nepal! 

I will continue learning Nepali in the afternoon with a free tutor supplied by my new job.  Please pray for the new season as a KISC ESL teacher and continue praying for my language development in Nepali.

Perfect Love

I have been struggling recently. 

Not something I love to admit. But, the truth must come to the light. I have been struggling with fear. Fear is the absence of faith. So, I have been struggling with faith.

 Please allow me to explain. 

There are certain things I know. 

I know God is real, His love is real, and the He loves me.

I know I am supposed to be here. I know God called me to this country.

I know God put a vision on my heart to start a school in west Nepal. 

Unfortunately, I also know other things. 

I know that visas in Nepal are hard to receive.

 I know that I am young and inexperienced. 

I know that I don't have an organization in Nepal backing me up. (Although, I do have an amazing church family and others who are backing me up- thank you to all of you!!) 

I know that I have no idea 'how' to start a school, and I know that the vision God placed on my heart sometimes scares me a bit. 

I also, know that my main struggle is that I have focused way too much attention on the facts that have consequently deterred my faith. 

The verse from 1 John 4:18 comes to mind. 

There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear. 

I remember one night, the first night I was brave enough to ride my bicycle on the ring road (the main HIGHLY trafficked road in Kathmandu equivalent to a major highway in the states, although- less rules and way more chaotic). First of all, being out at night is not something I would normally do, but being on a bicycle and heading straight for my home, I dismissed all of my normal precautions and rode away. 

After riding quite some time and not seeing my turn off- I became a bit worried. I called my friend and asked him if he could help me navigate home. After talking a minute or two, he spurted out quickly "Get off the ring road, I come to get you now."

Then he hung up. 

I sat on my bicycle waiting for him to arrive.

Looking around, in the dark streets of Kathmandu, I noticed some people staring at this strange foreigner.

 I felt fear crippling in when a man appeared to be approaching me. I closed my eyes and without hesitation I started saying "perfect love casts out all fear"

 OUT LOUD.

 It was a strange moment for all of us…

 me, the man, and I am sure God got a kick out of it too. :) 

I opened my eyes to find the man making a face at me, then he walked in the other direction. I felt this peace and a smile appeared on my face. I started proclaiming Gods greatness. "God, you are sovereign, God you are holy….etc" 

Through this, well, silly moment, and "be careful" learning opportunity- I also came to this sudden conclusion. 

When we are in the presence of the Father FEAR HAS TO LEAVE!

As of right now, I am admitting to God how dumb I was to not fully trust HIM. 

The more I learn about myself, the more I realize how much I NEED Him. 

When volunteering at the slums, some of the small children cannot carry their own trays to the tables. (We have tried to let them- but when they accidentally touch the hot part they drop it. Or they cannot figure out how to balance it between both hands while walking, and soon they have daal bhat (rice and lentils) all over their clothes and body.)

There is no problem carrying their trays for them. I do it with pleasure! Putting their tray in one hand, and their small hand in my other hand- I guide them to their seat. 

It humors me how stubborn some of the kids are though. They want to be like the big kids- carrying their trays by themselves. 

It suddenly dawned on me today. I am just like those stubborn small children. I need Jesus and others He sends, to carry my load for me sometimes. This is hard for me. I look at other missionaries. I see them having everything together and I want to be independent too. I become frustrated with the "wait" as the Lord is sending someone to "carry my tray." I proceed to grab the tray, burn my fingers then get daal bhat all over me.

I am working hard to declare all dependence on Him DAILY and LET Him carry my tray, because I know that when I do, suddenly all my fears melt away because PERFECT LOVE casts out all fear. 

Last night, during a worship session with my Nepali family, I was blown away from a picture I received from God. In the middle of worship- I asked the Lord "How much do you love me?" But what I really wanted to know was, "Do you see me? Do you notice me?" 

I pictured Jesus with His hand out saying "come." 

He brought me to this place so high that I could see the entire world! I looked at Jesus. He smiled and pointed at the earth and said, "I can see you, look."

There I was. It was like I was the only one He created. I saw me, standing in Nepal. Yes, a tiny human on a very big earth. But I could see me!

Later, my friend told me "God loves EACH of His creation as if they are HIS ONLY creation." 

What a beautiful sight! 

Sometimes when I am writing my lessons, I become weary because it is very difficult to write ESL lesson plans for my 7th graders. (My degree is EC- 6 generalist, therefore, I am working completely out of my credentials). 

But somehow when I arrive at the school, God gives me a whole new lesson and a whole new idea I had not even thought of! The children seem to be learning and loving it. It is amazing that He cares enough about me to help me teach my kids english!

Prayer 

 God, please continue to carry my tray for me. 

Thank you for loving me and caring about me so much! Thank you that there is NO ROOM for fear in the presence of God.

I love you Lord so much!

Thank you for providing everything I need as I need it. Never a moment early or a moment too late!

You truly are a GREAT God!

Friends and family, 

It was a challenge for me to write this. But I want you to know my struggles so you can be clear on how to pray for me. I need your prayer more than you know. Please do not stop praying for Nepal, the vision God put on my heart, and please pray for me.

Specific Needs right now:

I applied at a school that can give me a 2 year visa- please pray that if this is Gods will that this school will hire me.

Also, if I get this job I will not be able to work at the slums any more and I will only be able to teach my 7th graders once a week. To receive a volunteer visa you must work full time (40+ hours) a week. 

Please pray for God to take care of the places I have invested in, pray that He will give me peace that it is His will for me to work at this school full time.

This school also offers Nepali language classes for free and free lunches if I become employed full time.

Thank you for your prayer support and encouragement!