Pain with a Purpose: The Story of Jyoti Grace's Arrival

We (Simon and I) made a decision to have a home birth. 

I was still in Nepal when I began deeply considering the option of having Jyoti at home instead of a hospital; but, I knew that I would not be able to have a home birth if I was in Nepal. So when the decision was made to have Jyoti in the USA instead of Nepal, I was hooked on the idea. Some scoffed at the idea telling me how "unsafe" my decision would be for me and Jyoti. I prayed hard about the choice and as I prayed we researched and learned more about childbirth. My midwife taught me that childbirth is unlike any other type of pain. It is feeling pain but, with a purpose. She told me, "Your body will be hurting, but it is hurting because it is getting ready for baby to come. It isn't anything like a broken bone or a stomach ache from too much ice cream. That pain is a result of something bad happening."

This pain had a purpose.

 I was so moved by that statement. I prayed for her birth to be an experience that will help me grow closer to my Savior. Thus, my decision was made. I was going to have her at home with no pain medication at all.

On Delivery Day

 I started having contractions on Sunday as I drove home from church. I began to feel the excitement well up inside of me. Could this be the day? I remember thinking. The contractions only happened every 20 or so minutes that I knew I had some time. But I was so filled with joy, I knew I would be meeting my baby soon. By Monday morning at 3am, my contractions started coming every 6 to 7 minutes and lasting for 60 to 90 seconds. I was concerned, so I called my midwife. She said to wait until they are 5 minutes apart. I waited. They still kept coming every 6 to 7 minutes all the way until Tuesday morning. I kept praying myself through them. Every contraction, I would quote scripture and pray for Jyoti to be a light in this world as she grows up. I called my midwife on Tuesday morning at around 9am. I told her that I was feeling very drowsy because the contractions kept me awake all night. She asked if I could come into her office. I told her that I didn't think it was safe for me to drive and would prefer her to come see me instead. She arrived around 10am and checked my cervix. I was already 7cm dilated. Moments later the contractions began coming 4 to 5 minutes apart and lasting at least 90 seconds with more intense pain. I kept going with quoting scripture and praying through them but it was getting increasingly more difficult. 

Simon had to help me get through each one.

 I started to feel exhausted and so I sat in the water bath that would be where I would deliver Jyoti. The contractions suddenly stopped. Was God giving me a break or was there something wrong? After an hour or so of mild inconsistent contractions, my midwife encouraged me to get out of the water so she can check what is going on. I was 9cm dilated. My body was still working, only at a slower pace. God cared for my weakened and exhausted body and gave me a nice break! 

After that, though, I will be honest, I was no longer able to pray through my contractions. I would squeal a bit and say,

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!" 

All the while, Simon or my midwife would be pushing hard on my back because Jyoti was in a strange position that put a lot of pressure on my back. There were a few that made me want to give up. They were coming even more frequently and lasting even longer and the pain was so intense that I felt like I was outside of my body. I couldn't think about anything but making it through. I would try to breathe slower and say the truth about how I will make it through this, but there were moments that I lost grip on reality. 

All the while, my body was doing exactly what it needed to do to bring our baby into the world. Yes, I felt pain. I will never deny that. But it was completely out of my control. It was out of Simon's control. It was even out of my midwife's control. This one was God. He designed my body, a woman's body, to be able to do this. 

And my body did do it. We did have some complications, though. She had her hand on her face that made her trip down the birth canal run into a halt. This required a bit of assistance from my midwife. No medical interventions. 

The other complication came from having an umbilical cord that was too short. It made the placenta come off the lining of the uterus too early. Thus, making me have an enormous loss of blood. Two IVs (for hydration) and some iron supplements later, I am completely fine.

And Simon and I are blessed with our beautiful daughter that we fall more in love with every single day. Jyoti Grace KC.

Photo Credit goes to Joy Crampton:  San Antonio Birth Photography  

Reflections from the Year

First of all, apologies that I have not updated this blog since right after the April earthquake. For some reason, I could not get myself to write anything on here. Maybe I never really processed beyond that blog until now, which would give me nothing to write about. But the fact is, there are many things to write about. And since 2015 so recently came to a close and the new beginning of 

2016 has sprung forth, I would like to reflect a bit on 2015 and then write some plans for 2016. 

Things I learned in 2015:

Marriage.

 Simon and I made our covenant bond this past January and no matter how many books you read before that day, nothing can truly prepare you for marriage. It is this beautiful thing that God created and even during the low points, it is always so wonderful. Simon and I have learned to deal with conflict from two different cultures and two very different personalities. We don't always get along. Oh no. But we have learned how to understand, love, and respect our differences which  helped both of us grow closer to God and each other. My prayer is that in 2016 we can continue to mature in our relationship with God and each other. Because a cord of the 3 strands is not easily broken. (2015 helped me understand just how true that verse actually is).

Birthdays and Earthquakes.

 Yes, I know these two things don't exactly go together very well. But as it happened, my birthday is on April 26th and the first huge earthquake happened on April 25th. The irony is that last year (2014) on my birthday, Simon had not really celebrated it much that resulted in an argument between the two of us. This year I reminded him weeks in advance and he thought "I won't repeat the same thing as last year." He really wanted me to feel special on my birthday. I ended up camped out with hardly and food or amenities with a great community. I was shocked. I was sad. And on my actual birthday, there was another earthquake that shook us all. I have reflected a lot on that day. So many people lost their lives on that day. It was a day to not be selfish. It was a day to look beyond myself and focus on the world around me. I hate that the earthquake came at all. But I am grateful that it came on a day that I had (in the past) justified being selfish for a day. 

 

Pregnancy is not for the weak. 

Weak like me. Pregnancy was a huge shock. I wish I could say that the moment I got the surprise and found out I was pregnant I prayed a prayer similar to what Hannah prayed immediately and joyfully gave my daughter to the Lord. I wish I did that. But instead, I took 10 more pregnancy tests to be certain it was correct. I wish that my friends and family were immediately on board (nothing against them, they were just in shock like I was) but no, they encouraged me to take even more tests to be sure. Instead, I just waited until 8 weeks and got my first ultrasound. There she was. Her tiny heart beating inside of me. It was real. It was true. I was going to become a mom. Again, I wish that at that moment I started dancing and praising God for this blessing inside of me.. But instead I hugged the toilet tight as I threw up everything I ate. I threw up and slept. All the time that was my routine: throw up, sleep, wake up, eat, throw up again. Now, truth be told when my second trimester started I did dance and praise God because pregnancy really is an amazing, hard to fully grasp, absolutely beautiful miracle from God Himself. Now, I look forward to this beautiful girl being born this coming March. Please pray for me as I deliver, Simon to get a visa to be there, and Jyoti Grace to be a healthy baby girl with no complications. 

Teaching is my passion. 

I already knew that actually but, having to leave my students in the middle of the year is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I already miss them so much and wish that I could continue being their teacher. Please pray for future decisions since having a baby will significantly change things. Pray for wisdom as Simon and I make the best possible decision that will be honorable to Him, my family, and the school. 

Electricity and fuel are nice but not necessary. 

With this current blockade, we are going through a period with little fuel for our scooter and running very low on cooking gas. At first, it was not a big deal because we had a rice cooker, water boiler, and toaster oven that runs off electricity. But with so many electrical transmitters blowing out, our toaster oven broke and we barely have any power to cook with anyway. But guess what? We are surviving! And the truth is, our situation is not near as bad as most people who don't have as many blankets and have to sleep outside (their houses are gone because of the earthquake)  cook on fire outside (they ran out of cooking gas) for every meal. But Nepali people are amazing with their strength to get through tough situations. I will admit that I was so frustrated for a time. It was hard for me to be cold all the time and have to conserve the cooking gas, so even our food had to be eaten cold. But finally (thank God) I was convicted and realized that having a roof and blankets made me very blessed. Electricity and fuel are nice, yes. But they are NOT necessary to survive. 

The above is obviously not the entire year in review but it is a nice summary of some significant events that took place.

2016- America, here I come!

 I am leaving on January 13th and I plan to stay for 4 and a half months! We will give birth to Jyoti Grace in the states and then travel back to Nepal when she is 3 months old. 

*Also I will be speaking at the Vineyard church in San Antonio on February 14th. Please come and also pray for me as I speak. 

Please pray for Simon to get the visa to come and be with his wife welcoming his daughter as she enters into the world. 

Thank You.