Blog of Steam

Pressure cookers.

 A pot designed to cook things faster and more efficiently. They are particularly useful when cooking rice; thus, they are very popular among Nepalese and I had never heard of one when I was in the USA. The way a pressure cooker works is it keeps all the heat into one confined area which results in the rice or beans to feel the heat or pressure faster and cook. 

As they are beginning to become ready a blow of steam comes from the top of the pot. After this happens 3 or 4 times the meal is ready to be served. 

I find that I can actually relate to this pressure cooker; but not in a good way. We humans tend to place expectations on others. We want them to -be- or -act- in a particular way. Unknowingly, this results in pressure. Pressure and heat coming from all sides. Unlike the beans or rice though, I don't become ready from this pressure. Instead after keeping all of the heat inside for a long time I finally get to a point where steam must come out. 

The pressure I get tends to be on accomplishing things quicker. 

 What is Karina doing anyway? Just teaching? Why not making a difference in the world? Why hasn't she started that children's home yet? Why doesn't she spend more time in the rural areas? 

I understand. 

It is hard to see the work God is having me do here. In fact, sometimes I ask the Lord to show me that I am following His will as He has commanded me to do. And then He kindly reminds me that I am making a slow and steady difference in my students' lives.  I really believe that the students in my class are going to grow up to be leaders, missionaries, and world changers. 

After praying, He shows me how much He has changed me personally and that if I hadn't been doing EXACTLY what I have been doing this past year then I wouldn't be who I am right now. 

It is His will and it is His timing. 

As a friend recently pointed out to me, the beautiful Grand Canyon was not formed over one night. No. It was a long and gradual process that the Colorado did that created something extraordinarily beautiful.  And neither is Gods master plan unfolded after one evening meal that was pressure cooked. 

I mean think about it... He had planned for Jesus to come and save us at the time of the creation. He knew He would come. He knew Jesus would save us all. But before that the world gradually changed. Everything happens at its perfect timing according to His perfect plan. 

I am humbled at the realization. 

So, please excuse this blog coming from a pressure cooked woman who is now releasing the steam. 

God's timing is done from a cooker that cooks slow, but it cooks perfectly.

I hope you enjoyed my cooking metaphors. I have been on a cooking frenzy these days and that seems to be the only metaphor that comes to my mind. 

God bless you all!

A blog of truth

The Truth

I feel I need to share some things with the world. 

Things that will make me vulnerable and I am unbelievably reluctant to share. Yet, here I am sharing, so please only continue if you are ready to hear the truth, a lot of truth. 

For the past 4 or 5 months, I have been in hiding. I have been hiding from the truth, that I am in fact, a hider. 

You see there are different types of people in this world. When conflict arises, some people fight, many people run, and then there are the few who just hide. Unfortunately, that is me. 

In the past 4 or 5 months there have been more than one or two conflicts within my life. From living situations, close friendships, to the school I work at. 

Everywhere I looked there seemed to be another conflict. So, I hid. I hid from the truth. Not wanting to be exposed of my imperfections, I even hid from my family and friends.

So, people whom I love so much, I want to tell you that I learned something through this. 

One cannot hide from God. 

It is possible to hide from others and to hide from conflict by not picking a side, but God sees all and knows all, thus, it is impossible to hide from Him. 

In desperation, I came to God and pleaded for Him to come meet me, when He didn't, I begged the question: "Lord, what is it that is keeping me from you?" 

That is when all was revealed. So, now I am done with hiding. 

It is time for me to share the truth with the world. 

Here it goes:

At the international school I work at there has been theological division. I saw truth and flaws to both sides of the argument, thus, I decided to hide from choosing a side.

 Like a true coward. 

The truth is, I am tired of hearing gossip. The truth is that theological division is historically what splits the church. Instead of pointing out the flaws in others, I wish we could all see the flaws within our own selves and look for the treasure in others. 

The next area is with living situations. 

The truth is, I made a mistake by moving away from the Nepali family I was living with. I miss them more than words can express. But the mistake is already made. Even in my impulsive stupidity, God provides. I now live in a great place, a great location, with an amazing roommate. But it does not change the fact that I miss my Nepali family so much.

The next area I would like to share truth in is with friendships. I want to say I am sorry to the people that my pride has hurt. (You know who you are). I want to tell the people whom I love so dearly in Nepal and in America thank you. Thank you for never giving up on me and thank you for always being there for me no matter how hard I am to deal with. I would not be who I am without your love and support. Thank you so much. 

Within this area, I would like to share with the world someone who means so much to me. I met a Nepali man shortly after my arrival in Nepal and began praying about a relationship with him in December of this past year. He has a heart to serve God fully and a vision to serve in Nepal. This is a new relationship and so we are still seeking the Lord as it is mending and being pruned. So, please pray for us because we need it, which brings me to the next point of truth.

Prayer. It works and it is real. God is real. God is love. He is truth. Countless times, I have been in a place of complete despair and then suddenly felt my burdens being lifted only to find out later that someone was praying for me on the other side of the world at that exact time. 

The truth is, I could not be here or serve here without your prayers and encouragement. So I feel I owe a huge thank you to the people who have prayed for me or encouraged me or supported me in any way, because the truth is, you are a part of my team serving Nepal. 

So here is the truth of who I am:

I am a 24 year old and I feel lost at times but I am in desperate need of my creator all the time. There is a big vision that is constantly pressing on my heart that cannot be accomplished without my team of people who are praying for me and supporting me in a variety of ways. I work at an international school full time, a Nepali school part time, and I serve at an orphanage one day a week. I believe God will use the time I am serving now in the future and so I am believing that He will work everything together for my good.

One more thing, to the amazing young ladies who have emailed me telling me that they look up to me. I have one piece of advice for you.

Don't look up to me. Look up to Him. 

Praise the Lord for His love and grace, 

Amen. 

Rid me of myself, Lord. -Trip to India-

At a birthday party at one of the orphanages.

The adventure of India began before I left. The weeks coming up to the trip were, with a lack of a better word; stressful. With many areas of my life causing emotional stress, plus the feeling of being overwhelmed, caused me to long to be in a place where I could spend alone time with my Savior. I wanted to be away from the noise. I wanted to find a quiet place and spend hours with God alone. This trip to India was more than a blessing that completely fulfilled my hearts desire. I feel rested and at peace. But that was after the adventure of coming to India. 

The day that I was to travel to India happened to be the same day I had planned an event for my students and the children from the orphanage. I had awoken up at 5:30 am and had been busy preparing for the day/ my travels. In the morning, the children from the orphanage came and played soccer with my students. The children had a blast and it was a great connection/ meeting for all the children; however, I was already feeling exhausted as I quickly changed my clothes and headed to the airport. 

Understanding the state of my exhaustion will explain some of the decisions I made later that were not thought through. On my plane to Dheli, India, I sat next to an Indian man who was very kind. He bought me a lunch and it was clear he had no hidden intentions for being so nice to me. (blessed!!) We discussed my plans in India and I told him that I would be taking the over night train to Dhera Dun on the Sleepers Class (lowest class possible). He told me it would be life threatening to take that train. (Later I learned that he may have been a bit dramatic; however, at the time while traveling alone in India, those two words were enough for me to start praying). He decided he would try to help me buy a plane ticket instead. We tried to upgrade my train ticket, but that was impossible. Thus, we found a plane that would leave at 6:30 pm (INDIAN TIME-a concept that basically means, it will happen when it happens…) At 7:45pm, an announcement came that our flight will be delayed. (Hmm.. I figured!) Needless to say, I arrived in Dhera Dun very late in the night. While on the plane, it finally dawned on me that the people that would meet me at the train station won't know that I have arrived early and I had no way to get a hold of them. I began to feel afraid. I got off the plane and was heading towards a taxi when two men overheard me talking to the taxi driver, they were gladly trying to escort me to their car. Of course, I am no fool and would have NEVER jumped into a car with two men, but the taxi driver was not giving me a straight answer and so I began to feel uneasy and uncomfortable. Then, a man from London appeared and told them I was his daughter, then he asked me where I needed to go and I explained the situation. He gave me a ride. 

The 1.5 hours (I didnt realize that the airport was THAT far from the train station) in the car consisted of him and I talking about God and Christianity, as he was a self-proclaimed Atheist. Nonetheless, I was immensely grateful for the lift. He found me a nice hotel and even paid for my stay there! I thought all my problems were gone! Until… around midnight, as I was tossing and turning on the hard bed, there was a loud knock on the door. I ignored it. But it was followed by a "ma'am, open the door please. This is room service. I need you to open the door so I can give you what you need…" This went on for 20 or so minutes. I kept sticking to my guns, "NO, I WILL NOT OPEN THIS DOOR. I DO NOT NEED ANYTHING. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE." Finally, they left. But I could not sleep. I was so afraid! I prayed hard! 

The next morning the hotel called me, "Just wondering if you need room-service?" They asked. I said, "no… but… did you send someone here last night?" They responded with, "Oh no, I am sorry ma'am but we do not come during the night." Ok. Glad I didn't open that door!

After this crazy beginning, I realized how much I can trust God. SO MANY bad things -could- have happened to me, but HE took care of me. Sounds nuts, but I feel it was a great start to my trip in India. In India, I was serving under the care of some Russian foreigners. I heard so much Russian, that sometimes I wondered "Did I come to India or Russia?!" They were so kind and wonderful hosts though and I felt more than blessed to meet dedicated missionaries. 

Some of the amazing people I served with while in India.

They asked me to teach the Indian staff from the 5 orphanages English, as they do not have opportunities to learn English like the children do. I happily served and cannot express in words how much fun it was to teach English to such low beginners! I hope God opens a door for me to do this again in the future in Nepal. 

Of course, I also spent time with the children for birthday's, crafts, and sharing my testimony.

During one of my classes with the Indian staff at the orphanages, they were very grateful to be learning English.

The children and Indian staff blessed me more than I could have ever blessed them and I left loved and accepted by all the wonderful people I served with/ for. 

I would like to take a moment to thank God for this time of rest. Dhera Dun is not polluted, and I really needed a break from the smoggy Kathmandu valley. 

Sharing my testing with some of the girls at one of the orphanages.

Now, I am back in Kathmandu and I feel rested and ready to serve as I continue to wait for God to open the door for the next season of my life in Nepal, I am still teaching at the international school, going on prayer walks, teaching/ serving at an orphanage here, occasionally serving at the slums, and of course LEARNING NEPALI. (Please continue to pray for all the children that I teach/ care for and for my Nepali learning, it is not as easy as it looks to become fluent in a second language- one day I remember all the words the next day, it feels like my brain has been wiped of every Nepali word!) Please, please, please pray! 

This is Deepak, I met him at one of the orphanages in India; however, he is Nepali so I was able to practice speaking in Nepali with him. :)

Also, I have an additional prayer request- I feel like God is calling me to do something (which I will disclose later) which would bring some big changes in my life, please pray for clear discernment. 

Thank you so much for all of your support and encouragement! God is a great God and I am grateful to be here, as well as being grateful for all the people around the world who support me- with prayers, finances and words of encouragement.